TEN YEARS OLD!!!!!!

Oh my, it seems almost unreal that ten years ago today I gave birth to our first child, Aliza Grace.  I still remember the day as vivid as yesterday. On the day before, I was admitted to the hospital because my water had broke 5.3 weeks early.  Instead of inducing me immediately (it was only 11am), they decided to wait until 4am the next day... the reason, because this was my first pregnancy, they were anticipating it being a long labor and they did not want me to deliver in the middle of the night when the necessary neonatology and pediatric cardiology staff were not immediately available.  They wanted to be prepared. 

Looking back now, how was I not a nervous mess!!! Seriously, my life was getting ready to change forever, did I not realize this!!! Not only was I going to become a parent for the first time, but I was also going to be giving birth to a child that the medical staff did not know whether she was going to live or die.  We knew she would be born with Down syndrome and  a heart defect and would require open heart surgery, but she was almost 6 weeks premature.  The cardiologist had told us that she most likely would not survive if born before 34 weeks gestation. At 4am they began medications to induce my labor.  Three hours later I was ready to start pushing to the surprise of the doctors.  Once I started pushing her heart rate dropped and delivery became an emergency. They atmosphere in the room quickly went from calm to very intense.  At 7:28 am our beautiful daughter was born and so our journey began.  So much for planning and being prepared.  I remember holding her for the first time and being almost afraid to become attached to her.  She was so blue and swollen. She did not look like any other baby that I had ever seen.  My heart broke.  It was at that moment, while holding my first born, that for the first time I questioned our decision to continue my pregnancy.  The reality had set in that our child was different. 

 Ten years later, I am so thankful that my child is "different".  She has taught me so much and I know I have a lot more to learn from her.  There are so many things that I wish for her in her life, but most importantly I want her to know how much she is loved.  She gives and shows love unconditionally and with such sincerity.  It is sometimes difficult for others to see past her differences and negative behaviors to see this love and to show her their love.

Spread the Word to End the R-word!

Tomorrow I am presenting on behalf of the Special Olympics and the Spread the Word to End the R-word campaign to 850 Middle School students. I thought I would share my presentation with everyone.

My name is Kristin Pidgeon and I am a mom to four children, Quinn is 1 ½, Ella is 5, Trevor is 7 and my oldest daughter Aliza is 9. All of my children are special to me, but today I want to focus on Aliza.

Aliza is an amazing athlete, wonderful daughter, sister, granddaughter, cousin and friend. She is a dancer, she is a singer, she is a swimmer, she is a friend. She is a person with Down syndrome. She is not retarded.

Today I am here to talk to you about how the r-word has impacted me, my child and my family.

First let me tell you a little bit about Down syndrome. Down syndrome occurs when some or all of a person’s cells have an extra full or partial copy of chromosome 21. This additional genetic material changes the course of development and causes the characteristics associated with Down syndrome. People with Down syndrome attend school, work, participate in decisions that affect them, and contribute to society in many wonderful ways.

How many of you have ever won a Gold Medal in a competition? My daughter has won 8 Special Olympics medals… Three in horseback riding and five in swimming. She is on the cheering squad at her school where she is in a regular education classroom and has lots of friends. She will one day be a student here at Springer. She is really looking forward to going to middle school and getting one step closer to becoming a teenager. There are students here at your school, at church, at the mall, in your neighborhood, everywhere in your life who have cognitive and developmental disabilities. Please do not use the r-word. Do not break their spirits, their dreams, their hearts.

I do not fault others for their use of the r-word, because the term has become slang. They don't mean to be hurtful towards people with disabilities. Before I was a parent, I used to call annoying situations "retarded" before I understood. I have no problem with the words "stupid" or "bad". Sure, call your friends names if you'd like, it's your conversation. But please, don't use the r-word.

Many people use the r-word, and barely realize the amount of harm they are causing, referring to a foolish person or silly mistake, the word RETARD or RETARDED has been incorporated into the everyday language of today as a synonym of something "bad" or "stupid." The R-word is hurtful when used in jokes or as part of everyday speech.

For disabled people, this type of humor strikes directly at who they are. When you use the r-word people with disabilities are the punch line. That means essentially that you are calling my cute, funny, friendly, loving and talented daughter stupid or bad.

There is an old saying: "Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me." Even when I chanted it as a child, I never believed it. I often felt that people who let words hurt them were not strong enough. But now I understand that words do hurt -- they break people's spirits, they break people's dreams, they break people's hearts.

It is my job as Aliza’s mom to make sure that she is surrounded by opportunity and compassion and support. When you use the r-word you are hurting my daughter. She is not stupid. She is not bad. She is not RETARDED. My daughter is disabled, but that does not mean that she does not understand when people are being mean and hurtful. Aliza understands when people are not being nice or are saying things that are hurtful. She understands when others go out of their way to avoid her and she knows when people are annoyed at her presence. People with disabilities have feelings and deserve to feel accepted. By eliminating the r-word from your conversation and for standup to others who use offensive language, you are making your school, your neighborhood, our community and our world a welcoming and accepting place for people with disabilities.

I have a short video to show you the spirit of Aliza.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sau_6KqYPIo

Please join me in taking the pledge to Spread the Word to End the Word

Beautiful!!!

I just have to give a shout out to Kelli Hampton for her beautiful words and photos. I look forward to reading her book. I love how she describes her learning of her daughters diagnosis of Ds, I wish I could put my feelings to paper so eloquently.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=H8mdtbVd1ek