Tom was asked on Facebook to make a list of 25 things that he would like others to know about him. I hope he does not mind me posting his list on here, but I feel it is an important part of who we are as a couple and family and something that I would like to add to our family journal. I love you honey!
1. I love cheese.
2. I was voted "most likely to be a good parent" in high school...those fools.
3. My children are my heroes because well...see #2. It is nearly impossible.
4. My oldest daughter, Aliza, has Down syndrome. She has taught me so much about life that I didn't know I didn't know.
5. I have worked for two doughnut companies. Dunkin Donuts in high school and Krispy Kreme out of college...I can hardly say it myself with a straight face. I finally quit the day after narrowly missing the bridge abutment on Route 1 South when I fell asleep driving the delivery truck.
6. My favorite vacation was to the Cayman Islands. Watching the sun set while laying in the hammock with Kristin is a memory that is burned into my brain.
7. As president of my fraternity, one of my proudest moments was when we won Fraternity of the Year.8. I desperately want to be real friends with Joey, Rachel, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe.
9. I was a sorority sweetheart for Alpha Sigma Alpha for 3 years...good times...
10. Ella is 2 and is a ray of sunshine. She's always up for a big hug and kiss. She loves to giggle but doesn't take crap from anyone.
11. I have never had chicken pox, broken a bone, was born without wisdom teeth, have no cavities, and short of getting a few stitches have spent no time in the hospital on myself. What I am trying to tell you is that I am genetically superior...(insert evil laugh here.)
12. I am one who believes that the grass is always greener on the other side. While it may not be true, I always like to see what kind of lawn mowers they are using.
13. I have a Masters degree in Education.
14. I'd like to hike the Appalachian trail but I hate camping.
15. I moved to Delaware for a girl. (not his wife!)
16. The root beer snarf is perhaps the most painful experience one could have outside of child birth.
17. I nearly passed out during Kristin's epiderral with our first child. Our other two children were delivered by midwives without pain medication. What a cool experience.
18. My son, Trevor, was diagnosed with a brain tumor two years ago. Total fluke that we even found it. We don't know what it means or what it's going to do, but in the meantime that boy never ceases to amaze me. He is an old soul and at 4 years old is the smartest kid I know.
19. I am too self consumed. I want to work harder at reaching out a helping hand to my neighbors and friends. No matter what you might be going through there is always someone who has it worse than you.
20. I have been white water rafting down the Gauley River twice. What a rush! One of our tour guides was named was Ric O'Shea (say it to yourself) pretty fitting, huh?
21. Most of my good friends have been so for almost twenty years. We don't speak to or see eachother as much as I would like but know that I think of you often and cherish the times we've spent together.
22. We have a boxer named Rufus Xavier Sasparilla but we call him Chase.
23. My sister lives in Philadelphia now and I really enjoy her friendship. She is an awesome force in the lives of my children and I am forever thankful for her.
24. One day we want to rent an RV and spend an entire summer driving across the country with the kids.
25. Kristin is the rock of our family. Everything I am and all that I have is because of her. My life would be broken without her.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Trevor's Thoughts on God
Trevor often asks us about God and who is God and where does he live. These are all questions that we are comfortable with answering and we really enjoy his inquisitiveness. So, while on our way to school the other day, Trevor asked a question, "Mom, is there more than one God?"
I take a deep breath and think of my response. First, I am not at all sure why he is asking this question. Many times I get anxious about my answers to his questions, but later realize that he was looking for a very simple, to the point answer. So I answer him, "Mommy and Daddy believe that there is only one God. But, other people believe in many different Gods." So I ask him, "What do you believe?" His response, " I think there are many different Gods, one for each planet!" Then he adds, "But neither of us is wrong because we will never really know will we!"
This was a very simple conversation and he came to his own conclusion and I left it at that. I am proud of him for many things, but I am most proud of him for his ability to think for himself and come to conclusions that are so profound. I hope this quality, while frustrating at times (because he argues every point and always wants to be right!), helps him to continue down whatever path he decides to take, not the path that he believes others want him to take.
I take a deep breath and think of my response. First, I am not at all sure why he is asking this question. Many times I get anxious about my answers to his questions, but later realize that he was looking for a very simple, to the point answer. So I answer him, "Mommy and Daddy believe that there is only one God. But, other people believe in many different Gods." So I ask him, "What do you believe?" His response, " I think there are many different Gods, one for each planet!" Then he adds, "But neither of us is wrong because we will never really know will we!"
This was a very simple conversation and he came to his own conclusion and I left it at that. I am proud of him for many things, but I am most proud of him for his ability to think for himself and come to conclusions that are so profound. I hope this quality, while frustrating at times (because he argues every point and always wants to be right!), helps him to continue down whatever path he decides to take, not the path that he believes others want him to take.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Judging a book by it's cover!
I have a confession to make... I have judged a book by it's cover! I have never been one to bite me tongue or to hide my feelings, but this is different! I have scoured the internet, read books, talked to other parents of kids with Down syndrome, gone to seminars about Down syndrome and parent a child with Down syndrome. I am an "expert" on Down syndrome... Right?!?
Wrong! So totally wrong that I am speechless and embarrassed at myself! For a few years I have become friends with another mom of a seven year old child. We have had playdates and we have met for tea. We have gone to each others children's birthday parties and have met each others spouses. We are not great friends, but we are friendly. And we have something in common, we both have a child with Down syndrome...
This evening while at the hospital for Aliza's therapy I had a few minutes to talk to my friend. We caught up on life, school, the kids, etc. It has been a few months since we last saw each other. We griped about how school is going, but also talked about the accomplishments the kids have made this year in school. We talked about Down syndrome and the challenges both medically and educationally for kids with Down syndrome. This was not unlike many of our discussions. I have always been fond of this friend and felt this connection with her since we first met.
We talked about "labels" and how people label children based on their appearances and diagnosis, but did it really matter what their diagnosis is? Do we need to wear our labels on our sleeve? This is where we had a difference of opinion. Yes, I want Aliza to be treated as anyone else would be treated, no exceptions positive or negative. She has to follow the same rules as the rest of the children at school, in public and at home. However, I believe that children with Down syndrome learn differently than other children, including other children with disabilities. There are more commonalities in ways children with Down syndrome learn than children with other types of learning disabilities. For example, Aliza can not be taught by someone standing in front of her using a board, she needs to have hands on activities and is not an auditory learner. This is common for most children with Down syndrome. So while I do not want Aliza to wear a label on her forehead that says "I have Down syndrome", I would appreciate it if those that were educating her took into consideration her diagnosis of Down syndrome when presenting her with material, or challenging her so as to prevent her from getting confused and defensive. This has been my goal for awhile now, to make sure that everyone involved in educating my child has knowledge of her, but also of issues related to Down syndrome.
So where does my friends opinion lie with this issue? Well, she feels it does not matter what a child's label is, we need to address each childs needs individually. She tells me that used to see a physician at the hospital who would often refer to her child has having Down syndrome and she would have to correct her, whoa, stop the presses, thats right. Her child does not have Down syndrome! For years I have discussed our childrens' disabilities with this person, and never once had her childs diagnosis ever come up. Saying this now, I feel so selfish, however I know that we often discussed her daughters educational challenges and medical needs. I never asked her about the diagnosis of Down syndrome because to me it seemed so obvious. I know that I almost passed out in shock! I said, "you mean your child does not have Down syndrome?" No, but lots of people think that and even people at the school think that, but Down syndrome is not the diagnosis. As a matter of fact, they do not have a diagnosis. I apologized and apologized and apologized. We laughed about the mistake, and she had no idea that I did not know that her child did or did not have Down syndrome. I told her that I have had an eye opening experience about my beliefs about Down syndrome. Although I have always believed that people with Down syndrome look more like their family members than others with Down syndrome, for some reason, I believed this child had Down syndrome.
I left the therapy session humbled by this information and wondering how she must feel without a diagnosis for her childs delays. She said that is hard for them because they do not know why or what is causing the delays. We fight our labels when we are given them and want them when we don't have them. Label or not, I hope to have learned my lesson to never judge a book by it's cover!
Wrong! So totally wrong that I am speechless and embarrassed at myself! For a few years I have become friends with another mom of a seven year old child. We have had playdates and we have met for tea. We have gone to each others children's birthday parties and have met each others spouses. We are not great friends, but we are friendly. And we have something in common, we both have a child with Down syndrome...
This evening while at the hospital for Aliza's therapy I had a few minutes to talk to my friend. We caught up on life, school, the kids, etc. It has been a few months since we last saw each other. We griped about how school is going, but also talked about the accomplishments the kids have made this year in school. We talked about Down syndrome and the challenges both medically and educationally for kids with Down syndrome. This was not unlike many of our discussions. I have always been fond of this friend and felt this connection with her since we first met.
We talked about "labels" and how people label children based on their appearances and diagnosis, but did it really matter what their diagnosis is? Do we need to wear our labels on our sleeve? This is where we had a difference of opinion. Yes, I want Aliza to be treated as anyone else would be treated, no exceptions positive or negative. She has to follow the same rules as the rest of the children at school, in public and at home. However, I believe that children with Down syndrome learn differently than other children, including other children with disabilities. There are more commonalities in ways children with Down syndrome learn than children with other types of learning disabilities. For example, Aliza can not be taught by someone standing in front of her using a board, she needs to have hands on activities and is not an auditory learner. This is common for most children with Down syndrome. So while I do not want Aliza to wear a label on her forehead that says "I have Down syndrome", I would appreciate it if those that were educating her took into consideration her diagnosis of Down syndrome when presenting her with material, or challenging her so as to prevent her from getting confused and defensive. This has been my goal for awhile now, to make sure that everyone involved in educating my child has knowledge of her, but also of issues related to Down syndrome.
So where does my friends opinion lie with this issue? Well, she feels it does not matter what a child's label is, we need to address each childs needs individually. She tells me that used to see a physician at the hospital who would often refer to her child has having Down syndrome and she would have to correct her, whoa, stop the presses, thats right. Her child does not have Down syndrome! For years I have discussed our childrens' disabilities with this person, and never once had her childs diagnosis ever come up. Saying this now, I feel so selfish, however I know that we often discussed her daughters educational challenges and medical needs. I never asked her about the diagnosis of Down syndrome because to me it seemed so obvious. I know that I almost passed out in shock! I said, "you mean your child does not have Down syndrome?" No, but lots of people think that and even people at the school think that, but Down syndrome is not the diagnosis. As a matter of fact, they do not have a diagnosis. I apologized and apologized and apologized. We laughed about the mistake, and she had no idea that I did not know that her child did or did not have Down syndrome. I told her that I have had an eye opening experience about my beliefs about Down syndrome. Although I have always believed that people with Down syndrome look more like their family members than others with Down syndrome, for some reason, I believed this child had Down syndrome.
I left the therapy session humbled by this information and wondering how she must feel without a diagnosis for her childs delays. She said that is hard for them because they do not know why or what is causing the delays. We fight our labels when we are given them and want them when we don't have them. Label or not, I hope to have learned my lesson to never judge a book by it's cover!
Holidays!
The Christmas Holidays are a magical time of year. When there are children involved the meaning of magical changes. I am reminded of how grateful I am to have children and to be able to see the Holidays through the eyes of a child. Each child experiences the wonders of the holidays differently, but words can not express the excitement and joy in their faces and bodies as they see the holiday lights, prepare for the visits from family and friends, and eventually the arrival of Santa.
We had a terrific Christmas this year. It was such a game for us to try to keep the magic of Christmas alive for Trevor. He is so intuitive and we knew that any little slip up and the gig would be up. We even hid the Christmas wrapping paper because he would question why Santa wrapped his presents with our wrapping paper. We hid presents at neighbors homes, in the attic, in the basement, in the garage...
Ella was a bit overwhelmed with all the Christmas fuss. She did decide however that she likes wearing dresses and stockings and dressing fancy! I have to admit that a small part of me enjoys helping her to be "fancy".
For about one week before Christmas Aliza would get dressed in her pajamas before dinner, so that she could go to bed because Santa was coming. No matter how many times we told her that Santa was not coming for a few nights, she insisted that she be ready! Ever night she would wake in the middle of the night and coming running into our room, "Mommy, Daddy, Santa is here, I heard Santa's reindeer!" We would walk her back to her room, convincing her that it was not Santa, only to have her wake up again and again and again! Finally, we started letting her climb into our bed so that we could get a decent nights sleep. She would talk and talk and tell us stories about her dreams of Santa coming to visit her. As excited as we were for her, we also needed to sleep! We would let her tell us of her dreams of Santa for a few minutes, then remind her that we all needed to go to sleep. This was the first time that Aliza has had a fixation on something and the ability to plan for an upcoming event. She knew that Santa was coming!
We had a terrific Christmas this year. It was such a game for us to try to keep the magic of Christmas alive for Trevor. He is so intuitive and we knew that any little slip up and the gig would be up. We even hid the Christmas wrapping paper because he would question why Santa wrapped his presents with our wrapping paper. We hid presents at neighbors homes, in the attic, in the basement, in the garage...
Ella was a bit overwhelmed with all the Christmas fuss. She did decide however that she likes wearing dresses and stockings and dressing fancy! I have to admit that a small part of me enjoys helping her to be "fancy".
For about one week before Christmas Aliza would get dressed in her pajamas before dinner, so that she could go to bed because Santa was coming. No matter how many times we told her that Santa was not coming for a few nights, she insisted that she be ready! Ever night she would wake in the middle of the night and coming running into our room, "Mommy, Daddy, Santa is here, I heard Santa's reindeer!" We would walk her back to her room, convincing her that it was not Santa, only to have her wake up again and again and again! Finally, we started letting her climb into our bed so that we could get a decent nights sleep. She would talk and talk and tell us stories about her dreams of Santa coming to visit her. As excited as we were for her, we also needed to sleep! We would let her tell us of her dreams of Santa for a few minutes, then remind her that we all needed to go to sleep. This was the first time that Aliza has had a fixation on something and the ability to plan for an upcoming event. She knew that Santa was coming!
Christmas morning was somewhat anticlamatic for all! The look in their eyes when they came down the steps Christmas morning was priceless, but the anticipation for the amazing event was over and that was kind of sad. Well, for everyone except Aliza, who everyday since Christmas is still asking us if Santa is coming that night, and continues to wake up each night telling anyone who will listen at 2am that "Santa is here".
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